


Mystia Lorelei vs The Hunger

by ItsPurvis



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Lewd but not Graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22875238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsPurvis/pseuds/ItsPurvis
Summary: Youkai aren't supposed to eat humans anymore, but sometimes it's hard to kick old habits. But when the unwritten law is enforced by brutally efficient Shrine Maidens, creative solutions must be found.Originally written in 2010
Relationships: Mystia Lorelei/Yuyuko Saigyouji
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

(The person responsible for this knows who they are)

Her ears twitching, Mystia focuses a steely eye on her grill in the pale light of her lanterns. Before her lie three strips of filleted lamprey, sizzling away and quietly leaking clear oils. She focuses on the sizzle, ignoring the omnipresent crickets, waiting for the pitch to just change just so. There's a music in the sound of sizzling meat, one that she has grown to know as well as her own voice over the years. The distinctions between beef, venison and fish; the difference between frozen meat, thawed meat, and fresh meat; all practically genres in themselves to the ear of the experienced chef. She waits, waiting the juices slowly pour from the until they obtain just the right consistency. Then she closes her eyes, for they will no longer avail her. She listens as the sizzling slowly reaches its crescendo, arcing her head back to better let the interplay of meat and spice waft to her nostrils.

Almost...almost....there!

With a deft motion, she scoops up the three pieces of meat and deposits them on a plate. Following with a quick series of stabs, she places them on a skewer. Bringing the meat just below her nose, she inhales the aroma slowly. Just right. Exactly perfect. Hopeful, she takes a small bite from the topmost strip. Chewing it slowly, her face falls. She swallows, then sighs. Almost, but not quite right. The texture was close, properly crispy but still too chewy. The flavor just a little too sweet, a little too strong. Sighing again, she sets the skewer back on the plate. So close, yet so far. Does it need less spice? More spice?

"Oh B Vitamins~" comes a woman's sing-song voice from behind.

Mystia starts from the sudden sound, then slumps. "God. No."

Two arms clad in blue silk close around Mystia's waist, hugging her against the woman behind her. "Oh yes, my little Creatine," says the voice into her ear, "I could feel your disappointment from across the netherworld, and I couldn't just leave you alone here~"

"So you were spying on me, Yuyuko?" says Mystia, not turning around. She relaxes herself a bit, there's no point in fighting it now.

"You seemed very busy and it would be terribly impolite to have interrupted you," says Yuyuko, as she squeezes Mystia, "wouldn't you agree, my dear Protein?"

"But afterward is fine, then?" Mystia replies. She would give Yuyuko a sidelong glance, but being a night sparrow rather than an owl denies her the necessary range of motion.

"Why, it's only that you seemed like you needed a hug after your disappointment," says Yuyuko, squeezing harder. Seeing no point in trying to struggle any longer, Mystia leans back against her "assailant". "But I must know, my little Niacin, whatever were you trying to make? It smells perfectly delicious."

Silence hangs in the air. Mystia closes her eyes, considering. "Are you alright, dear?" says Yuyuko.

"Yuyuko," Mystia says slowly, "I have the hunger."

"Oh my!" says Yuyuko.

Mystia stiffens and cries out as she feels the ghost princess' teeth gently bite into her ear. "N-not that, dammit!"

"Mmm, one thing at a time, my Riboflavin," Yuyuko mumbles through a mouthful of ear.

"No, I mean it!" Mystia says, gently twisting her head to remover her ear from Yuyuko's reach. "I...I haven't eaten anyone in years, and I can't stop thinking about it."

"It's better that way, my Thiamin," says Yuyuko. Mystia stiffens again as she feels her assailant's fingers trace along her stomach in a curious pattern. "It's so much better that way, don't you think? Isn't it nicer to have friends than meals you don't even need?"

Mystia sighs again, her breathing coming a little faster. "I know, I know. Everything you said is exactly right." And it was: since the bad old days came to a close, her customer base has surged. Not only that, it was wasn't so easy to eat someone after they had sincerely kinds words, or complimented one's voice. "But...I can't stop thinking about it. I can still taste it sometimes..."

"We'll do something about such niggling memories, my Pyridoxine," says Yuyuko. Mystia feels the ghost princess' left hand hand start to unbutton her dress, while her right continues its ministrations. "We'll do something about that right now~"

"Why can't I quit you?" Mystia answers through a shuddering breath as she feels Yuyuko's hand slip beneath her dress and continue to trace along her torso in teasing loops that work their way lower then higher.

"Oh, you should stop trying to fight it, dear Biotin," says Yuyuko. Mystia sighs as she feels the ghost princess' hands trace their way upwards and cradle her chest. "Isn't it so much better to sit back and enjoy things? Isn't that what we've learned since the old days? But the hunger is such a pain, isn't it? Let's do what we can for it, shall~" Mystia moans a little in response to the ghost princess' fingers, feeling it expresses her thoughts better than anything. "Though to be honest, wouldn't it be alright to just make a deal with a certain human? After all, it's not like they're going to use it once they're gone and-"

Mystia's suddenly opens her eyes, Yuyuko's hands forgotten. "That's it! Yuyuko, you're a genius!" Wasting no time, she disentangles herself from the ghost princess' grasp and starts running toward the human village. It's perfect, so simple and so elegant. If they could bring the fighting under control and make it beautiful, why not do the same with the hunger? And she knew just the place to start...

****

"Wait!" Yuyuko shouts as Mystia runs. "Wait! Or at least button up your dress!" She sighs, knowing her words weren't reaching Mystia. "Confound it, B vitamins, you weren't supposed to look into that until we were done..." She heaves a frustrated sigh, then takes the forgotten skewer in hand. "Oh well, it's a good thing I was saving you for later anyways..."

****

Up head, in the clear light of the waxing moon and stars, Mystia could see a outline of a farm house. Some distance outside of town, in the old days it would have been a tempting target for any hungry youkai. But now it is more of a target for mischievous faeries; she notes a badly concealed bucket resting atop a partially open barn door. A lone light shines through the one of the windows. Pausing to catch her breath and re-button her dress, Mystia considers removing the bucket for the residents. Then the light in the window goes out. "Gah! No! Wait!" she cries, and hurries across the field while fumbling with her last few buttons. Reaching the door, she gives it a solid knock before the occupant can go to bed. She finishes with her last button as the door opens.

A small, thin woman in a coarse nightgown peers out the door. Her hair is short and mussy, giving her something of a ratty look, while her tanned and weathered face makes her look a little bit older than she should. The woman regards Mystia with raised eyebrows, then says, "Did I leave something at the stand?"

"No no, nothing like that," says Mystia. "But I need to talk business with you. Right now. It's important."

"Thea?" comes a voice from inside, "Who's there?"

"It's Mystia from the lamprey stand, dear," answers the human woman, looking back into the darkened house. "We need to talk a bit; I'll come to bed in a little while."

"Alright," replies the voice, as Thea steps out and closes the door behind her. She sits down on the front steps, groaning a little. Mystia stares for a moment, trying to ignore her mouth watering. But she's right there, all nine or so stone of her. Enough for days of good eating. With just a little lemon and pepper rub, or maybe some chili juice if there's any to be had. And then the leftovers, minced and baked into a bun, and...No!

"Are you alright?" Thea asks.

"It's nothing," says Mystia, as she has a seat on the ground next to the stairs, looking toward the stars and away from the temptation. "Thea, I know this is sudden, and that you're just a regular and stuff, but I want to make a deal with you."

"I sold all my herbs for the day," says Thea. "You'll have to wait til tomorrow for me to get any more. Though if there's something you're looking for, I'll be happy to keep an eye out for you."

"No no, it's not about herbs," says Mystia, waving her hands and looking over toward Thea. "Well, it kinda is, but it's not about buying them. But it's important."

Thea nods. "I figure it'd have to be important to send you running up here in the dead of night with your dress buttoned wrong."

"Ack!" Mystia glares down at her dress for a moment. Stupid treacherous garment! And stupid ghost for taking it off to begin with! "Okay, just pretend you didn't see that."

Thea cackle a thin and reedy cackle. "I didn't see a thing. Now let's hear what you want."

Mystia turns the words over in her head for a moment, then says. "I want to buy your body."

There is silence. Mystia counts three heartbeats before Thea says, "...I'm happily married."

"No, not like that," says Mystia. "I've got more than enough of those problems already without making things even more complicated. What I mean is, well, you're going to die someday. And when you do, I want to take your body."

"What in the-" says Thea, before cutting herself off. Her voice hardens. "Wait. Wait. You want to eat me, don't you?"

Mystia nods. Thea starts to stand up. "Wait! Let me finish!"

"What is there to finish?" Thea asks, glaring down at Mystia. "I'm not some lump of meat for you!"

"Just let me say everything, first, okay?" says Mystia, "I'm not going to kill you or anything! And I'm not doing it for free!"

"Tch, fine," says Thea, sitting back down. "But I'll have you know if the shrine maiden ever gets wind of this, she'll beat your head in with one of those balls."

"Oh, I know that better than you could possibly imagine," says Mystia, frowning memories of the flower incident. "Anyways, this is what I was planning. I'll give you money now. And when you die, I'll come get your remains."

"I'm supposed to be buried, you know," Thea says, looking away from Mystia toward the ground. "It's important."

Mystia nods, as she hugs her legs to her chest. "Yeah. What I was thinking is this. We'll have the funeral, I'll even attend if you want, and then I'll take your remains with me. But I'll leave your bones in one piece. Don't worry, I'm really good at that. I debone fish all the time. Then, when that's done, I'll take them back and we bury them with all the proper rites."

"I still don't like it," says Thea. "Why did you ask me, anyways? Why not, I dunno, someone in town?"

"It's because of what you do," says Mystia. "You gather up herbs. So you have to do things like climb the mountains. Stuff that's dangerous. So, you have a high chance of being in an accident. Which means, well, you'd be in better condition than someone who went due to age. I mean, it's not a nice thing to say, but you're in more danger than most people."

Thea gives a nod and looks back to the sky. "Still don't care for it, but I see where you're coming from. Now I'm kinda wondering just what you were thinking to bribe me with."

"Well..." says Mystia, as she pulls out her purse and shows Thea the offer she had in mind. Silence dominates the air.

"So," Thea says at length, "will you expect me to drink soy sauce?"

****

It is late, uncomfortably close to sunrise, as Mystia reaches her stand and her home just behind it. Still, she can't help but sing a cheery song; it takes all of her self control not to jump and kick her heels together yet again! It worked! It actually worked! There's an end in sight now! It's one thing to deal with a craving that would never be sated. But now, it's only a matter of time. Perhaps it won't be as fresh as she'd like, but that's why one learns to be a chef to begin with. No more futile experiments that will never fill the hole. All that needs to be done with wait. She opens the front door of her house and walks inside. Closing it behind her, she kicks off her shoes and lets her eyes adjust to the gloom, and-

Woosh. Slam!

Mystia finds herself pinned against the door. In front of her, staring into her eyes, is the pink-haired ghost princess, her hands pressed against the door as she leans close to Mystia. She can feel Yuyuko's presently bare chest against her own, pushing her against the door as the Yuyuko leans in. "I've been waiting for you, B Vitamins," she says, smiling in a way that makes Mystia's stomach uncomfortable. "I hope you have tomorrow free, for we have a great deal of time to make up for. With interest, my dear little Folic Acid. My time is very valuable, and one must expect to pay heavy interest on such things..."


	2. Chapter 2

(Since you people cannot be happy with just that. And since I have another scene in mind, I'll gives yalls a bit more)  
  
  
  
The birds chirp merrily and Mystia wishes with all her heart that they would shut up for just five minutes. The sun shines brightly; Mystia considers offering an actual prayer to any deity that would listen for one of them to go and kick it until it stops. The stand is empty now, and the grill turned low. Mystia sits in the most comfortable chair that she could quietly drag from the house; there's no way her legs would support her for long. Left to her own designs, she wouldn't even be out here right now. She looks back toward the house and shudders. ...Anywhere but there.  
  
The grass crunches, drawing Mystia's eyes toward the curtain covering the customer side of the stand. She stands up, wincing a bit, and puts on her best smile. It'll be nice to have someone to talk with and distract from the soreness. The curtain parts...  
  
"Hello, Mystia," says Reimu, as she walks into the stand and has a seat. She pulls out a spellcard and places it on the counter. Mystia glances down at it instinctively, stiffly; her soreness and frustration forgotten. It is turned her direction, she can clearly read: "Divine Spirit: [Fantasy Seal]. Reimu leaves the card on the counter, and rests her chin in her hands, with a smile that does not reach her eyes. Looking from the card, Mystia can't tear herself from those eyes.  
  
"Mystia, Mystia, Mystia..." says Reimu. "I am truly surprised at you. You know that? Of all the people, I didn't think it would be you. I mean, I could see Utsuho doing it? Or maybe Rumia? But you? Never in a million years. Mystia, I am so, so disappointed in you."  
  
"Wait, I can explain!" says a voice, and Mystia is moderately surprised to find it's her own. She slaps her hands to her mouth, but Reimu's eyes have already hardened.  
  
"Mystia, I only asked for one thing from you guys, just one thing, you know that?" Reimu continues, as though there were no interruptions. "All I asked for you guys to do was knock off the killing and harassing people. That's it. It's all I wanted. It's so simple, you know? I even made spellcards for you guys, so you could still fight and have fun. Don't you like spellcards, Mystia?"  
  
Mystia nods, her hands still over her mouth. Stupid! Stupid! Never interrupt the shrine maiden when she's in a mood!  
  
"I like spellcards," Reimu says, "I know because I worked forever to make them. I like them because they're better. They're better for you. You know that, right? Remember who beat down Sariel? It was me. Remember who took out Yuka, back in the day? Me. Remember Shinki? The Makai Goddess? Know why she doesn't bother us anymore?" Reimu extends a thumb and points to herself. "You know why Evil Eye Sigma isn't a problem?" She points to herself with both thumbs. "Mystia, do you really want us to go back to that era? Do you? Do I have to break limbs keep you people in line, rather than giving you beautiful ways to deal with your problems? Is this what you want, Mystia? Because I don't want it."  
  
Mystia winces as Reimu reaches forward with her free hand and pats Mystia on the cheek. "I like you guys, Mystia. I really do. I'd like us all to be able to get along. Wouldn't you like for that too, Mystia? Doesn't it make you happy to have such good friends like me around?"  
  
Mystia nods dumbly, tensing herself. It'll come soon... She tries to swallow, but her throat refuses to move.  
  
"But Mystia," Says Reimu, sitting straight up, her eyes never leaving Mystia's, "you nod like you agree with me, but then you go and screw it all up. Mystia, I am so ashamed of you. You were doing so well. So very well. Now I have to make a mess of you so no one else gets any funny ideas. Do you understand that I didn't want to come here and break you in half, Mystia? That wasn't what I planned on doing today at all. I was going to go sweep the front of the shrine. It's filthy, you know that? It needs to be swept very badly. Even Suika can't deal with it anymore. But look where I am. I'm here, and this is not getting my walk swept at all." She pulls her hand from Mystia's cheek now. "Now, I am a kind and loving person at heart, Mystia, so I am going to give you five minutes, just five, to validate my time with lamprey skewer and a very good reason for me to not cave your head into the side of this shop. Now, take your hands from your mouth, and...Go."  
  
Mystia moves her hands, breathing slowly through her nose. Inhale, hold it, exhale. Don't shiver. Don't shiver! Inhale, hold it, exhale. She draws a couple of lamprey filets from the icebox, dimly noting she'll need to get Cirno to freeze it again soon. She puts the meat on the grill and adds some more charcoal to the fire. Then she takes the spices in hand, and begins to apply them.  
  
"You're not convincing me, Mystia," says Reimu. "This is a generous offer, you shouldn't waste it. I didn't offer this to Byakuren, but I am for you."  
  
"It's...a business deal," says Mystia, trying to keep her breathing steady, and her voice from quavering. "All I did was offer her money for her remains. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"  
  
"Mystia, does my forehead say 'Idiot' on it?" asks Reimu, her face neutral. Mystia shakes her head, her breathing focus lost. "Did the faeries trick me while I was on my way here? In fact, does my forehead have any writing at all? Maybe my cheeks?" Mystia continues to shake her head, tensing herself. "Then, Mystia, why are you treating me like I'm an idiot? Have I done something to deserve this? Did I stop speaking in words and shift to barks and meows? No I did not."  
  
"But, all I did was-"  
  
"All you did was mark that woman for death!" Reimu says, slamming a fist on the counter and making the spellcard jump. "You think I'm dumb? You think I don't get the implication behind her saying 'It's okay'? Now you have exactly no reason to let her go. All you have to do is not get caught. You could bribe some dumb ox of a youkai to kick her off a cliff for you with promises of a forearm and plausible deniability! And even if you don't, what's to keep some other moron from going out and doing the same thing?!"  
  
"N-No, I wouldn't!" Mystia says, holding her hands open before her, shaking them as though to ward off the accusations. "If I was going to do that, I wouldn't even pay her money, would I? I'd just arrange for the accident, right? Wouldn't that be easier and cheaper?"  
  
"And have that much less an alibi," says Reimu, arms folded in front of her and icily calm. "Better to spend a little money and seem that much less suspicious to the causal observer, isn't it?"  
  
Mystia bows her head and exhales a great sigh. "I'm not going to be able to convince you I mean what I say, am I?" she says. "I could make any kind of gesture of goodwill, and you wouldn't believe me. You don't even know what it's like, Reimu. So, just do your worst, already."  
  
"You see," says Reimu, shaking her head. "These are the kinds of things that make me wonder how you can sing so well when you can't even hear what's going around you. It doesn't even matter what you guarantee, like I said, when someone else tries to be clever about it. The problem, Mystia, is you're opening the floodgates here. If we let this slide, we have to let it slide when Remilia wants to do it. Or when Satori wants to and uses that mind control business... You see what I mean?"  
  
"Does Satori even eat people?" Mystia asks before her thoughts really understand that she's back-talking Reimu.  
  
"Probably," says Reimu with a shrug. "She's a youkai, it's what you do. And we're getting beside the point. The point is, Mystia: what are we going to do about this situation? I will tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to go around policing these little contracts of yours, and I'm not going to bust my hump to investigate every one of these deaths for possible foul play. Because I have better things to do, Mystia. I have an oni to feed. Do you know how much time that takes up? A lot. So, it looks like you get to make a choice, won't you? You going to go ahead with this, or back out?"  
  
Mystia turns her eyes toward the sizzling lamprey, biting her lip. Could she give up now? After all the trouble of convincing Thea to go through with it? After that bright, shining ray of hope? But what could be done? Having come this far, could she give up now?  
  
"...I'm going to go through with it," Mystia says.  
  
"Alright then," says Reimu, picking up the spellcard.  
  
"Wait! Wait!" Mystia cries. "Let me finish!"  
  
Reimu tucks the card between two fingers and folds them down against her palm. She looks at Mystia with cool eyes.  
  
"I think I can make this work, just let me explain. First, I'll need you to declare only I get to do this, okay? That way if anyone else tries, you can beat them up."  
  
"Or I could just beat you up right now and stop it before it becomes a problem," says Reimu. "I think I'll go with that one."  
  
"Okay, okay, okay, how about this?" says Mystia, waving her hands. "I'll do what I can to keep everything together, but you make the declaration anyways. We'll save you for a last resort. And then, I'll keep everything under control. I'll make sure no one does anything stupid, and I'll report everything to you. Okay? Just leave it all to me."  
  
"Mystia, I like you, I really do," says Reimu, "And you are tempting me to give you a chance. So, I think I will. And you're not going to let me down. You're going to assist any investigations, alright? And, you're going to let people who want out buy back their contracts. No price bloat. Or else. In fact, I'm not going to catch you making any kind of money off this at all. and you're going to keep very good records to prove it to someone who actually cares to go over that shit, like Keine. Alright? Good. Is my lamprey done?"  
  
Mystia nods through all of that. She hadn't thought of making a profit, but if she is going to have to keep other people from getting into this, then money is going to have to come from somewhere... She skewers the lamprey, and hands it to Reimu. "Good, thanks," Reimu says as she pockets the spellcard. "I'm heading home. Come visit...I dunno, later, and hammer out all the fine details. I have things to do that aren't being here or giving a crap right now. Ciao." And with that, Reimu departs the stand, munching on her lamprey skewer.  
  
Exhaling, Mystia falls back into her chair. "What a mess..." she mutters. Things just got so much more complicated. She'll need someone to keep others from trying this, some way to pay for it, some way to make a certain youkai doesn't try her luck...  
  
"Oh Riboflavin~" comes a voice from behind, punctuated by the front door flying open and smacking into the wall, "Let's have _lunch_!"


	3. Chapter 3

Wrapped in Yuyuko's arms, the ghost princess snuggled behind her, Mystia can't help but feel that everything is all right. True, there is a persistent stiff soreness below her waist that doesn't feel like it's going to go anywhere for the next couple days. As well, she could kill for a bath right now, and almost shudders to think how much she's going to need to clean the futon. She can also barely keep her eyes open, were it not for Yuyuko's elbow digging into her ribs just enough to keep her from drifting off. But all things considered, life is good. Even if Yuyuko was just a little too insistent about things, and just a bit creepy in the process, at least she is is skilled and thoughtful enough to make it worthwhile on the whole.  
  
"Yuyuko?" she says softly.  
  
"Mmm?" answers the ghost princess, shifting a little and hooking her leg around Mystia's.  
  
"Yuyuko, I think I need you to do me a favor," Mystia says.  
  
"Already?" says Yuyuko, tracing her hand down Mystia's stomach, "My, we'll make a marathon runner of you yet with that kind of stamina..."  
  
"No, no, not that!" Mystia says, grabbing Yuyuko's hand before it can go any lower. "I swear, don't you think about anything else? Can't we at least have a tender moment for awhile?"  
  
"There's no need to be upset, my Niacin," Yuyuko says softly, wrapping her arms around Mystia once again, "It was just a little joke."  
  
"Only because I stopped you," says Mystia, sighing with relief as Yuyuko shifts her elbow just enough to relieve the pressure.  
  
"Well, yes," says Yuyuko, "It would be terribly unkind of me, I think, to make an offer then retract it and say it was only a jest. Don't you agree?" Mystia suppresses a grumble. Yuyuko always had a way of making a kind of sense about such things, always when it's most frustrating. "In any event, you wanted something?"  
  
"Yeah," Mystia says. "I need your help. I got visited by the Red White today about the idea you had. And, uh, she was kinda mad."  
  
"Oh dear," says Yuyuko. "I don't think I could beat her, I'm afraid, so I must leave you to sort out that issue on your own."  
  
"No, no, I don't want you to fight her," says Mystia. "Geez, you get on my nerves sometimes, but I'm not about to wish that on you. No, I need for you is to help me keep other youkai from messing everything up."  
  
"By beating them up, I take it?" Yuyuko says.  
  
Mystia frowns. This could be going better. "Well, if we have to. Really, I'm hoping your presence will make people think twice under the threat of you beating them up. And, um, to keep them from trying to hurry things along..."  
  
"I'm touched you have such a high opinion of my abilities, Mystia," Yuyuko says through a giggle. "But, it would be rather troublesome, I think. I shouldn't leave Hakugyokorou for too long." Mystia has to clench her teeth to avoid a retort that demands to be made. "As well, it would be a little strange for me to be involved in such a venture in the world of the living."  
  
Mystia sighs, trying to stave off the crushing disappointment. "So you won't do it?"  
  
"Now, I didn't say that," says Yuyuko. "I will help out, but you shouldn't rely on me for such things. But now I must wonder something, myself..."  
  
"Hmm?" Mystia asks.  
  
"When are you going to make an honest woman of me?"  
  
Mystia's heart lurches, as she stammers a reply. Did she just...?! Is she... No! No, no, NO! "W-w-what!?"  
  
"Surely the idea isn't that repellent, my Protein," says Yuyuko. "Have we not already shared so much? Have I not already given myself over to you freely? Does this mean so little to you?"  
  
"We barely even do anything together!" Mystia cries.  
  
"Oh, we're done quite a lot together, don't you think?"  
  
Mystia's stomach begins to turn; her breathing grows shallow as she tries to fight back the sudden surge of nausea. "And you were the one that came after me! And- and-"  
  
"Shhhh," says Yuyuko, putting a finger to Mystia's lips. "Don't worry, little Biotin, it's just another joke. Relax. I wouldn't make that kind of demand from you. But I would like you to consider there is a reason why I come to you and not to Wriggle or someone else. So, it does hurt slightly when you protest so."  
  
Mystia says nothing, thankful that Yuyuko can't see her grimace. Damn it, how can Yuyuko sound like she's the victim in all this? How can she act like she's not the one who appears out of nowhere and starts with the the molesting?! Agh! Still... it was just a joke. Mystia sighs. "I didn't mean it like that, just you caught me off guard..."  
  
"That's alright," says Yuyuko. "Now, let's consider your situation. You're worried about people competing with you and causing problems? On reflection, don't you feel that way of thinking is useless? You are thinking about contracts and such, so why not keep that line of thought instead? How would a proper business deal with keeping competition out?"  
  
****  
  
"Oh wow, I can have all this for free?"  
  
"Mmmhmmm," Says Mystia, leaning on the counter and smiling at her customer as she presents another plate of lamprey skewers.  
  
"You're the best, you know that?" says the customer, grinning broadly. "If you ever need a hand with something, just say the word!"  
  
"Actually, about that," says Mystia. "How would you like to get into some danmaku fights, and get paid for it?"  
  
"Unyu?"


	4. Chapter 4

It hasn't been a bad week, Mystia decides while cleaning the grill in the wake of the lunch rush. Business has dropped off a little, but that was to be expected. Other customers came with numerous questions. It has gotten a little monotonous, repeatedly explaining that no she wasn't coming after them, no she wasn't going to force no one into it, and no she didn't want to buy the remains of aunt Yuki who died ten years ago even if they did they digging. Many have proven at least mildly disgusted by the prospect; seldom were they reassured when she told them it was impossible to make lamprey taste like human and the reverse was probably true. Others are curious about it to the point that it is a little unnerving. But humans were slowly coming back in larger numbers as they got used to the idea, and there had yet to be any mobs. If they didn't make a mob, it means they'd learn to live with it.  
  
Among Youkai, the word has spread less quickly. The few who had heard of it never had much an interest in eating people to begin with. This is a conundrum. Were the other youkai simply not interested in the whole thing? That would make life so much easier. Or were they up to something, and doing their best to hide it? Mystia shakes her head to clear away such thoughts. It'll be alright. The major competitor has already been bought out, and she should be more than able to keep any rogues in line.  
  
The front curtain swishes open. Mystia looks up, having been so absorbed in the her cleaning and her thoughts that she hadn't heard the customer approach. "Welcome," she says, "What'll you have to-"  
  
"Oh, nothing much," says Aya as she sits down in at the counter and opens her notepad, "Just some facts and a few statements." She smiles and begins to scratch some things down. "So, when did you give into the hunger?"  
  
Mystia frowns, and restrains herself from making a reply that would involve accusing Aya of bestiality. This could be a perfect opportunity, but it would take some careful presentation, given Aya... "I haven't, seriously," she says after a moment. "I mean, it's just so hard to put it off, you know, so I've just made some arrangements. That's all. There's nothing sinister about it at all."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't know," says Aya, scratching away with her pen, "We never engage in that kind of thing. But anyways, how do you intend to murder that poor herb gatherer? She has a wife, you know!"  
  
Mystia puts her fingers to her forehead, as if to ward off the coming headache. "For the last time, I'm not going to murder her. It's a contract that states when she meets her natural end, I get her remains. That's all. If I arranged for her to be killed, the Red White wouldn't let me last more than five minutes."  
  
More pen scratching. Mystia notices that Aya isn't even looking at the pad; instead keeping eye contact and a smile. "Of course, of course. This would, of course, mean that the rumors that you hired Utsuho as an assassin, and perhaps pre-cooker, are somewhat off base?"  
  
"Of course they are!" Mystia says, fighting off the urge to throw down spatula at the ground. "I did hire Utsuho to help me out with a few things, and so she wouldn't go haring off on her own and causing problems with the contracts. There's nothing sinister like you were saying about it! I'm just trying to find a way to make things work out so everyone can be happy. So, do you have any more questions?"  
  
"There's always more questions," says Aya, chuckling. "For instance, how does the contract actually work?"  
  
"Oh, it's rather simple, really," Mystia says, brightening now that Aya seems to have calmed down. She proceeds to outline the agreement she made with Thea, emphasizing her intention to allow for funerary services and to return the woman's bones afterward. Having summarized it a few times already, Mystia is confident in her explanation, hitting all the pertinent points and downplaying common misgivings that people have about it. Aya nods along, writing away on her pad and periodically asking for clarification.  
  
"I think that you've told me plenty to make a proper story on it," says Aya. "But, would you like to give me a closing statement and sum up your thoughts on the issue?"  
  
"Certainly," says Mystia. "What I am trying to do is to find a way for us youkai to get something we want without it being a problem for humans, just to come to a mutual sort of agreement we can both be happy with. I know some people are going to be a little worried about it, but I think when a little time passes and everyone gets used to the idea, it won't be a problem at all."  
  
Aya nods, putting her pen away and closing her pad. "Thank you for your time, Mystia. I should be able to write a great article with everything you told me." She nods her head into a small bow.  
  
"Just try to keep it accurate," says Mystia, as the tengu leaves the stand.  
  
****  
  
"How bad is it?" Mystia asks, as she closes the front door behind her and notices Yuyuko curled up in a chair, mostly obscured by the newspaper. There was a time when Mystia would had been taken aback to randomly find someone else in her house, but Yuyuko has long since adapted her to such things. She merely walks over and has a seat opposite of the ghost princess.  
  
"You'll be quite pleased," says Yuyuko, not bothering to lower the paper. "It's a a front page story! I must say, she's done an excellent job of making you look rather savage. I don't imagine anyone would want to try to face you after reading this. Did you honestly say it was so hard to resist, when asked when you gave into the hunger?"  
  
"Oh damn it," Mystia says, leaning her head back and staring at the ceiling. "I was hoping Aya would be a little nice about it. Maybe I should have given her a free skewer?"  
  
"I don't think it would have done anything," Yuyuko says. "But I must know, my Riboflavin, did you really say, 'It's a contract that states when she meets her natural end, I get her remains.' when asked about murdering that herb gatherer?"  
  
Mystia frowns. What did she say, exactly? After a moment, she gives up trying to remember. "Maybe. But I'm pretty sure I would have started by saying no, then cleared it up."  
  
"I assumed there was some creative quotation involved," Yuyuko replies. "I must say, I do like how she juxtaposed that with your hiring Utsuho. It makes everything sound so very sinister. If I didn't know any better, my Niacin, I would think you quite the mastermind."  
  
Groaning, Mystia looks back toward Yuyuko, still hidden behind the paper. "I hate that stupid tengu. Did she at least portray the contracts accurately?"  
  
"Well, she did," Yuyuko says, "But one does note she points out that the signer's demise need only pass as natural. But I imagine everyone was thinking that already, so no real harm there."  
  
"I need something to drink," Mystia mutters, as she stands and heads for the kitchen. A moment later, she returns with some cold tea left over from this morning. While not exactly a hard, nerves-calming drink, at least it would do something to massage the lump in her throat. She sits down again and sighs. "Yuyuko, I don't suppose I could convince you to send your gardener over to set Aya straight for me?"  
  
"If you're really disappointed about this," says Yuyuko, "Perhaps you could go to Hatate's newspaper instead? I'm sure she'd love to get the real story."  
  
Mystia frowns, searching her memories. After a moment she says, "Whotate?"  
  
"Yes, that would be the problem," Yuyuko replies.  
  
Giving Yuyuko a confused look, Mystia says, "What?"  
  
Yuyuko shakes her head; her cap's motion just barely visible over the edge of the newspaper. "Don't worry about it."  
  
"Okay," Mystia replies after sipping her cold tea, "So, no deal with the gardener?"  
  
"Would that really achieve anything, my Folic Acid?"  
  
Mysita shakes her head. "No, but it'd make me feel a lot better."  
  
"Oh, I don't need to involve Youmu to make you feel better," says Yuyuko, setting the paper aside.  
  
Mystia pauses from taking a drink. "Damn it, I just got done with the stand! Can you at least let me rest up a bit before using me?"  
  
"Don't worry," Yuyuko replies as she stands and stalks toward Mystia. "You'll be relaxed beyond the limits of your vocabulary when I'm through..."


	5. Chapter 5

(This one is partially Matsy's fault. He knows why. Vic too)  
  
"You know," Utsuho says, her head angled upwards, "I am never ever going to get used to all that blue up there. What do you even do with it all? And the clouds? Yeesh! Those things aren't right. I mean, look at them, all poofing up and stuff, and always shifting around and making shapes. I don't know how you guys can ever get used to that. Give me some good ole stalactites any day."  
  
"Well, I guess it's weird if you don't get used to it," Mystia says, looking around. The outskirts of the human village were the same as ever; scattered farms with numerous little dirt paths converging into a well-worn road. Old houses with peaked roofs and paper walls; grass and weeds choked out from all the feet passing through. She could hear a dog barking somewhere, bringing a small tinge of discomfort; she could never do well with dogs. It wasn't to long ago that this place was practically another world to her, so far removed from her life. But things have changed. It was nice to be able to come and go as she pleased. Still, some of the old trepidation was coming back. It really was a good thing Yuyuko suggested hiring some help...  
  
"Nothing to get used to, really," says Utsuho, as they pass by the outer line of houses, "Good earth all around you, nice and dependable. It's only natural. It's not even all cramped like people up here think it is. There's all kinds of room in the big caverns like where the city is. Just the ceiling is something you can count on."  
  
"Isn't there weather down there?" Mystia says. "I remember hearing Nitori talking about that, right after the incident."  
  
Utsuho nods. "Well of course there is, it's got to rain and snow sometime."  
  
"So shouldn't there be clouds?"  
  
"Well, kinda, but they're little ones. Nice ones.You can fly up and touch 'em. They're more like smoke than those big huge poofy things you guys have. They don't get in the way so much, you guys' clouds get all over the sky and make it go gray and stuff. Just making a nuisance of themselves if you ask me."  
  
Mystia has another look around. So far, so good. No rocks, no angry shouts, no one pulling their children away. There were stares, but this is normal. Humans are always fascinated by youkai, and it wasn't often someone as flashy as Utsuho walked into town. You gets used to the stares after awhile, and after they got used to you, the stares would go away. Still, there was a tenseness in the air, or so it seemed. Maybe it's just paranoia? Maybe no one really cared after all? It was known that Aya was prone to exaggeration and flights of fancy.  
  
"Those sound like rather depressing clouds, don't you think?" Mystia says. "Don't they ever look like shapes and things?  
  
"What, no, or course not," says Utsuho. "They don't look like anything. That'd be silly. They're suppose to rain, not get in the way."  
  
"Well, what about..." Mystia looks toward the sky, seeking out a cloud to prove her point. The heavens, she finds, aren't in a cooperative mood. She points to a puffy one to the northeast. "...That one. It looks like cotton candy."  
  
"No it doesn't," says Utsuho, following Mystia's finger. She squints and frowns. "Wait...okay, so it does. Weird. Hey, so does that one! And that other one looks like when Orin spilled milk this morning!"  
  
The market looms up ahead, a number of little wooden stands filled with odd and ends. Dozens of people mill about, and dozens of voices blend into a nondistinct babble. Over that, merchants at their stalls shout their wares, trying to entice people with their goods. She can see all sorts of things for sale; foodstuffs, housewares, clothes, jewelry, art objects. There is a stall selling medicines from Eientei; Mystia notes a familiar pair of ears bobbing over the people gathered there. The smells of fresh food dominates the air, Mystia is pleased to note a lack of poultry odor among it.  
  
"Alright, Okuu," says Mystia, "First thing is to get some more salt, then we'll-" She glances over to make sure Utsuho is listening, and notices a conspicuous lack of hell raven. "-Damn it." Thankfully, it doesn't take long to find her in front of a clothing stand; large black wings and a white cape stand out quite a bit. Mystia sighs and heads toward one of the grocers. The line isn't long, and she is able to get through it fairly quickly.  
  
The woman running the stand is a older lady, her face lined with every year. Her gray hair is drawn back into a bun and covered with a length of cloth. She gives Mystia a grin with a few gaps in it, and says, "Hello Mystia, dearie. How has business been lately? What can I get for you?"  
  
"Two pounds of salt, Mrs Yumi," Mystia replies. "And it's been a little slow this week. I'm sure you've heard the news? It's had an effect."  
  
"Oh yes," says Mrs Yumi, "I am afraid I can't quite agree with it myself. Honestly, do you really need to be hiring minions to push poor Thea off a cliff? I mean, back in the old days, did you do that sort of thing yourself?"  
  
"I didn't hire Utsuho to push anyone off a cliff," Mystia says, her voice heavy. "There's not going to be any cliff pushing. I just hired her so she wouldn't try to get into this herself."  
  
Mrs Yumi nods, as she places a sack on a scale and starts to ladle salt into it. "Well, that's good to hear. As I was telling Mrs Reiko just the other day, it seemed like the Tengu really was trying her worst to paint you in a bad light. Deplorable, the things people will say!"  
  
Mystia nods and chooses her next words carefully. "Well, I'm glad you believe in me, Mrs Yumi, we do need our friends to stand by us in such things."  
  
"Oh course, dearie," says Mrs Yumi, giving a grin that causes the lines on her face to shift into an entirely new pattern. "I do wonder, though, if little Rumia will expect people to go through with hers agreements? She did trade a yoyo to Mrs Reiko's third granddaughter Ishi just yesterday for her body. She's thinking about talking to the Shrine Maiden, but I said to her to wait just a little while and see what will happen. No need for her to go on that long walk, what with her knee and all..."  
  
"You're serious?" Mystia asks, feeling her stomach churn, "She did that?"  
  
"Serious as an oni in a drinking contest," says Miss Yumi with a nod, then frowns at the scale and adds another part of a ladle of salt to the bag. "I saw the little dear playing with the yoyo myself."  
  
"I suppose I'll have to have a talk with Rumia, then," says Mystia. "She'd still be in school now, wouldn't she?"  
  
Miss Yumi hands Mystia the bag. "I would hope so, it is time for the little ones to be there! That'll be the usual price, dearie."  
  
Mystia nods, quietly handing the money to the grocer, and taking the bag. "Thank you for telling me all that, Miss Yumi. I'll look into it as soon as I can. Have a good day."  
  
"Have a good day yourself," says Miss Yumi. "And do be good to that pink-haired girl. She's quite fond of you, you know!"  
  
Turning to walk away, Mystia closes her eyes and tries her best not to scream, shudder, or break into profanity. "I'll be sure to do just that, thank you Miss Yumi." Then she walks away as quickly as she can, comforting herself with some muttered swears as soon as she is certain the grocer can't overhear.  
  
"Hey, Mystia," comes the voice of Utsuho through the crowd, "You got any more bags?"  
  
Mystia looks over to see Utsuho approaching, with her arm and third leg crossed against her chest, cradling a number of glittering objects. She raises her eyebrows. "How many buttons did you buy?"  
  
"Forty-seven."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They're pretty."  
  
Mystia ponders for a moment, and realizes that there is no real counter argument for that, and no particularly good reason for exploring this any further. "Sorry Okuu, all I have is this. Just gather them up in your shirt until we can find one. We've got problems, too."  
  
"What's up?" asks Utsuho, not looking at Mystia as she gathers up the bottom of her shirt with her hand, then lets the buttons slide down into the pocket she made.  
  
"It looks like Rumia's trying to make contracts, too," Mystia says. "We'll have to deal with it."  
  
Utsuho frowns. "Whomia?"  
  
"Oh right, sorry." Says Mystia. It was hard to remember who knew whom these days. "Rumia, she's a darkness youkai. Looks like a little girl, kinda dim. Not really that strong."  
  
Furrowing her brow, Utsuho says, "Mystia, I am not beating up a little kid. You do not pay me enough for that, and I would never hear the end of it from Satori."  
  
"No, no, we're not beating her up!" Mystia cries. She pauses for a moment, considering Rumia, then adds, "...Probably. We're just going to talk with her and make sure she understands what's going on, and convince her to leave it be."  
  
"I'm not threatening a little kid, either."  
  
"We're not going to threaten her! Probably! Look, just help me finish off the grocery shopping, and I'll buy you some lunch while we wait for school to let out, okay?"  
  
"Not lamprey," Utsuho says, "I'm getting kind of tired of that, and I want a bag, too."  
  
****  
  
By the time that she is able to get the groceries home, and make good on her promise of lunch for Utsuho, it is close to time for school to end for the day. Mystia hurries over to the building and waits. Sitting near the main crossroads of town, is it easy for just about anyone to find. It stands two stories, the upper one serving as the schoolmistress' home. A fenced off playground with a slide, a set of climbing bars, and a large sandbox lays beside it, scattered with things the children have no doubt forgotten.  
  
"So, we catch her when she comes out, right?" says Utsuho, "And then we set her straight? Is it really going to be that easy?"  
  
"Trust me, you don't know Rumia," says Mystia. "The hard part will be making her remember it."  
  
"You're the boss," Utsuho says with a shrug.  
  
The Mystia settles in to wait. Utsuho wanders around a bit; giving Mystia something to watch; until she finds a stray kitten and gets into a staring contest with it. This loses its spectator appeal in short order, leaving her to watch the front door of the school and mentally review her speech. It does not take long for the door to open, and a stream of chattering children to pour out. Mystia scans them, and quickly picks out her target; running with her arms outstretched.  
  
"Hey, Rumia!" she calls. "Come over here!"  
  
"Hi Miss Tia!" says Rumia, as she alters her course and runs toward Mystia.  
  
Glancing over, Mystia notes Utsuho leaving the staring contest unresolved and is approaching. She looks back to Rumia and smiles. "My name is pronounced Mystia."  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said, Miss Tia," Rumia answers. "Whacha want?"  
  
"I want to talk about something you did yesterday," Mystia says. "You gave her a yoyo, right?"  
  
"Yeah," says Rumia, nodding, "And when she dies I get to eat her! It's awesome! I didn't even like that yoyo anyways. And now the Red White won't put my insides on the outside!"  
  
"Well, that's going to be a problem," says Mystia, as Utsuho quietly sidles beside her. "You see, the Red White said only I'm allowed to do that."  
  
"What! No fair! That dumb!" Rumia says, crossing her arms. "I hope she trips over that donation box!"  
  
Mystia nods. "Yeah, but it would be a problem if everyone was doing it. It'd get all confused and bad things would happen, and then the Red White would beat us all up again."  
  
Rumia's eyes go wide. "Oh no! I want to keep my arms!"  
  
"Yeah, it's be a real problem, and no one would be happy," says Mystia. "So we need you not to do this-"  
  
"Or it's your ass!" Utsuho shouts, leveling her third leg at Rumia with a hard glare.  
  
"You have a thing on your arm, Miss Other Bird," Rumia says.  
  
Mystia frowns. Things were starting to go off script. "Okuu, I thought you weren't going to threaten her?"  
  
"Unyu...sorry," says Utsuho, as she stops brandishing her third leg at Rumia, "I just thought maybe it would help..."  
  
"I'm paid to do the thinking, Okuu," Mystia says. She then smiles back at Rumia. "Don't worry about my partner, she's new to this. Anyways, I need you to give your contract back to Ishi, so that the Red White doesn't beat us all up."  
  
"But it's mine," says Rumia, frowning. "It's square and fair and everything..."  
  
"Well, if you do," says Mystia, "I can share the one I have when she passes on. And she's older, so you won't have to wait as long. And I'll even cook her for you."  
  
"Well, that sounds kinda okay," says Rumia, "But I like Ishi. She's really silly and I bet she'll taste good..."  
  
"I'll give you that kitten," Utsuho says, motioning toward her former opponent with her thumb, as it washes its face. Mystia would feel a little sorry for it, being bought and sold like that, but her sympathy for stray cats had run out a long time ago.  
  
"Deal!" Rumia says, bunching her hands into fists, holding them before her and shaking with excitement.. "Shake on it! Pinky promise! Blood pact!"  
  
"Done and done, kiddo," says Utsuho. "Now lets go get that kitty."  
  
"You're the best Other Bird, Miss Other Bird!"  
  
Mystia watches as the two of them walk off, and the the kitten dashes away from them. She closes her eyes, letting the relief wash over her like a cool rain. Crisis adverted. If Rumia were willing to accept it once, then even if she forgot about it, it shouldn't be hard to get her to accept it again. Of course, it meant having to share with Rumia as well as Utsuho, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem...  
  
"My," whispers a voice in Mystia's ear. Her eyes snap open, panick surgnig, as familiar arms wrap around her, "Just when I was thinking about lunch..."  
  
"Damn it!" Mystia cries, "I'm trying to get work done!"  
  
"Everyone needs a break, my Thiamine," says Yuyuko. "Come, let's _dine_ ~"  
  
"We're not even close to my house!"  
  
"There's an inn,"  
  
"I can't just keep throwing money around!"  
  
"My treat~"  
  
Mystia sighs, and lets herself relax as Yuyuko starts to pull her away. "I hate you so much."  
  
"We'll remedy that in a short while."


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh hell, this isn't going to work at all," Mystia mutters, as she stares at her ledger, resting her head against her hand. She runs through the numbers again, but they do not change. The payment toward Thea took out a significant amount of her savings, but it was just a one-time cost. After a couple months, that would have been recovered, normally. But business hadn't returned to normal yet. On top of that, there was now Okuu's wage, and all the costs of food itself...  
  
"What isn't going to work?"  
  
"Gah!" Mystia jumps, her heart hammering. Leaping from her seat and trying to turn around, her feet get tangled in the chair legs and nearly send her sprawling to the ground. "D-don't do that!"  
  
Yuyuko stands at the other end of the room, a small dining room near the kitchen, frowning with a hand held before her face as though to ward off a blow. "But...I like knowing how you're doing, my B Vitamins..."  
  
Putting her foot up on the chair, she starts to massage the soreness from her ankle. "I meant knock before you come inside!"  
  
"But you weren't home."  
  
Mystia looks up from her ministrations. "...I've been in here for the past hour."  
  
"Just so. I came in two hours ago," says Yuyuko with a nod.  
  
"You could have told me!"  
  
Yuyuko frowns. "But then how could I surprise you in the pantry?"  
  
"You don't!" Mystia says, trying very hard to curb her words. "You nearly gave me a heart attack as it is! And not in the pantry! I keep my food in there!"  
  
Yuyuko gives one of those grins. "Oh, we could have gone elsewhere, and explored the house~"  
  
"Agh!" Mystia throws her hands in the air. How can she dance around the point like that all the time!?  
  
"Regardless, what was it that won't work, my Proteins?"  
  
"The stupid ledger," says Mystia after a moment, giving it a dirty look to spare Yuyuko from getting one. "I don't think I'm going to be able to afford things without some major cutbacks..."  
  
"If it's money you need, I would be all too happy to share," says, Yuyuko, approaching Mystia, frowning. "It pains me to see you in such straits."  
  
"No, but thank you," Mystia says automatically. It wouldn't do to take gifts from Yuyuko, not with the way she acts. Money and material gifts were the difference between a being in a relationship and being a kept woman, and damn it there was some pride to be salvaged!  
  
"Hmm. I suppose raising prices a little would be out of the question?" says the ghost princess.  
  
Mystia shakes her head, leaving the dining room behind. "If I asked humans to pay more to help me eat them, they'd stone me."  
  
"Oh, this is quite a pickle," says Yuyuko, her voice following behind Mystia. "Are you sure I can't help?"  
  
"I have an idea," says Mystia as she enters the den. "It'll probably work, as much as I hate to do it, but...well, it'll be a bit rocky. Uh, if you really want to help, it wouldn't be bad if you stay around here for a few days. Because the Red White is going to be back, and I might need you to hold her off if she's in a bad mood."  
  
"Oh, I never thought you'd ask me to stay!" says Yuyuko, over the all too familiar sound of cloth hitting the floor.  
  
Mystia sighs. Some day, some glorious day, she'll learn to watch her mouth. "How did you get those off so fast?"  
  
"Oh, I only tied them with a slip knot," says Yuyuko, as she hugs Mystla from behind.  
  
"So I see. Um...could I get something to eat first? I know you're just going to say we're getting to that, but really, I've been doing books and I'm famished, so...please?"  
  
"Well, alright, my little Niacin."  
  
Moments pass.  
  
"You're not going to let go, or get dressed, are you?"  
  
"Mm-mm."  
  
****  
  
"Mystia, Mystia, Mystia," says Reimu, as she sits down at the counter, crossing her arms. "You're a real piece of work, you know that? A real piece of work. How long along was it I came up here last? Two weeks?"  
  
"Just about," says Mystia, as she lays a few bits of lamprey and a long strip of eel on the grill. Reimu didn't place orders. One simply gives her the good stuff. Still, it wasn't too bad. This wasn't like last time. This was just little details. Nothing to be afraid of. Hopefully...  
  
"Two weeks," Reimu says, "I don't leave incidents laying around two weeks after I start dealing with them. But you know that, right Mystia? You know that. I have a reputation to upkeep; never more than a day. Twenty-Four Hour Reimu, they'd call me if I let 'em. But look at this. Two weeks, and here I am again. Mystia, do you think I planned to be here today? Do you think I penciled this in, two weeks ago?"  
  
"Well, I would like to think my food would give you that kind of craving," Mystia says.  
  
Reimu clicks her tongue. "My oni needs a bath. You know that oni don't like baths? They don't, or at least mine doesn't. And you know how much of a pain it is to get an oni into the tub that doesn't want to be in one? Especially mine? She just makes herself too big to fit. Then she goes drinking anyways. You have any idea what a pain that is? Takes way too long. And it's funny you should mention cravings," Reimu leans forward. "But not ha ha funny, more like makes you think funny. Because now I have to think about how I'm going to get things set up right after two weeks."  
  
Reimu reaches over and tears a slip of paper from one of the roof supports and tosses it on the counter. It reads: "Please inquire about our dining club!" in beautifully painted letters. Mystia had to admit, Yuyuko was useful to have around for certain situations. "What're we going to do about this, Mystia? Trying to make a profit after I said to you, 'No profits from people eating.' Isn't that what I said? Yes it is."  
  
"Oh, I agree," says Mystia. "It would be very crass. But here, look at this." She picks up a leather bound ledger, opens it to a dog-eared page, and places it in front of Reimu.  
  
"Do I look like I came up here to squint at numbers when I have an oni reeking of drink running around my shrine?"  
  
Mystia flips the meat on the grill before answering. "No, but these shouldn't be too hard. See, i just need to get so much to cover costs. So I'm only letting in ten people, and charging just enough to cover the cost of the contract. And that's it. Not profit, just breaking even. You can even show that to Keine or Ran if you wanted to, I don't mind."  
  
Reimu doesn't say anything, frowning at the ledger, trying to read it through narrowed eyes, as if it were going to break out a spellcard any minute now. Mystia says nothing, turning her attention to the meat and trying to hide a smile. It wasn't often one got to befuddle the Red White! "You know what?" says Reimu, "I think better just put your head through the wall for being a smartass."  
  
Mystia's eyes go wide, as she nearly drops her spatula. "W-what!?"  
  
"Relax, relax," says Reimu, setting the ledger aside, "It's just a joke. You're just too jumpy, is all. Calm down. This looks good. Just don't screw it up, you got me? If I have to come down here a third time, I'm not even gonna bother talking. Go ask Sariel about that if you want to know what it's like. No third time, got it?"


	7. Chapter 7

(Have some more loosely connected scenes. It is like a montage)  
  
  
"Wait, what?" Mystia asks, eyebrows raised as she pours a cup of sake and places it on the counter.  
  
"I said, we would like to sign up for your dining club," says Meiling, through the last mouthfuls of an eel skewer. "We're not too late, are we?"  
  
"Well, no," says Mystia. "But, both of you?"  
  
"Yes, both of us," Sakuya says, crossing her arms. "Is there a problem with that?"  
  
"No," says Mystia, choosing her words carefully. "It's just, um, I thought you weren't supposed to be a vampire?"  
  
"I'm not," says Sakuya, frowning and fixing a look on Mystia. "I'm just going to give my portions to Meiling. Are you saying I cannot do this?"  
  
"Oh..." says Mystia. "I guess that's okay..."  
  
  
****  
  
  
"Wait, you want what?" Mystia asks, eyebrows raised and frowning. It takes a supreme act of will not to accidentally burn herself on the grill.  
  
"We'd like to join your dining club, please," says Sanae, sitting on the left side of the counter and sipping some tea.  
  
"Hopefully your price isn't too steep," Byakuren adds, who sits on the right side; her height necessitating that she forgo the stools in favor of taking a lotus position on the ground.  
  
"Um," Mystia says, "You know I'm supposed to pay you guys for your remains, right?"  
  
"Oh no, we aren't selling," says Sanae. "We'd like to join in the club, please."  
  
There is a moment of silence as Mystia considers this issue. Finally, she says, "...I didn't think you were into this kind of thing."  
  
"Oh, it's not that," says Byakuren. "It's just we would like to be sure all the rites and such are done properly."  
  
"Oh!" Mystia snacks her forehead, prompting a giggle from Sanae. "Well, alright."  
  
  
****  
  
  
"We'd like to sign up for the dining club," says Alice, as between dainty mouthfuls of lamprey.  
  
"Both of you?" asks Mystia. "This one of those deals where one of you gives extra portions of the other?"  
  
Alice and Marisa nod.  
  
Mystia nods in turn. "Okay, that's fine, I'll just need you to-"  
  
"I'm afraid she won't be taking any more applications today," comes a voice from behind Mystia, as familiar arms wrap around her torso. "She's going to be on break. Come back at dusk. But not too late into dusk~"  
  
Mystia struggles against the ghost princess' grip, finding it solid as always. "Yuyuko, I'm at work, dammit!"  
  
"I know," says Yuyuko, "But all work and no play makes B Vitamins go sour. Besides, I'm calling in my debt for coming up with the whole idea."  
  
"Have fun, you two," says Marisa, grinning, while Alice covers her mouth and giggles.  
  
"I paid that off three times that night!" Mystia says. Still, the words don't have the passion she wants. They won't matter, they never do.  
  
"...Going into debt, then!" Yuyuko answers.  
  
  
****  
  
"I really wish you wouldn't do that when I have customers," Mystia says softly, cuddling against Yuyuko.  
  
Yuyuko giggles and kisses Mystia's forehead. "That's not what you were saying earlier, my Niacin."  
  
Mystia sighs contentedly, idly running a strand of Yuyuko's hair between her fingers. "Well, maybe not during...but it was just a little embarrassing in front of the customers. You really should have waited just a bit."  
  
"But I had waited so long already," Yuyuko says, "And so had you. It would have been so rude to keep you waiting, too. And you should have seen your face!"  
  
"Yuyuko, that's not the point." Mystia says, frowning. "I don't mind so much if you do this kind of thing when I'm not that busy, but i really was trying to deal with some business. And yes, I know, love trumps business, but no one said we can't have both things. So, really, don't you think you just a little too far this time? And you didn't even see my face, anyways, you were behind me!"  
  
"When you say it like that," says Yuyuko, "I suppose I must make a little better effort to restrain myself, for your sake. But I expect to hear something nice from you in turn."  
  
"Oh, you're such a baby, you know that?" says Mystia, shaking her head, before she kisses Yuyuko lightly on the cheek. "Fine, fine. I'll say it. I lo-"  
  
"URAMESHIYA!" shouts the nearby closest as it explodes open.  
  
"GYAAAAAAH!"  
  
Mystia tries to leap out from the futon out of reflex, but entwined as she is with Yuyuko, all she manages to do is accidentally kick the ghost princess in the back of the leg. At the same time, Yuyuko cries out while tightening her arms around Mystia. Both turn and glare at the open closest, where a teal-haired youkai stands, unfolding an umbrella.  
  
"What the hell were you doing in there, Kogasa!?" Mystia shouts, trying to find a sheet to cover herself with, failing, and settling on letting Yuyuko block her from sight.  
  
"I was waiting to surprise you!" says Kogasa, beaming. "Oh, the looks on your faces..."  
  
"How long were you in there, dear?" asks Yuyuko.  
  
"Few hours," says Kogasa. "I was going to surprise you when you came in, but you were busy and it would have been rude, so I waited until it seemed like you were done. Anyways, could I join that dining club you're running? I've never really tried eating people before, and I think it sounds like an important part of being a youkai, so I think I'm really obligated to do it once."  
  
"B-vitamins, dear? My robe is on your side of the bed. Could you reach into the pocket and hand me the second spellcard from the bottom of the deck?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know. I wrote this ten years ago. And when I looked at the first lines of the first paragraph, I had a moment.

The sky is blue, the birds are singing merrily, and Mystia digs away at the garden around the side of her house. Just warm enough, with a nice breeze to keep things comfortably cool, it is the perfect time to set the flowers out. This means the garden needs to be weeded, but on a day like this it is barely an annoyance. Every so often, Mystia looks back. Lunchtime draws near, and if anything draws ambushes from a certain ghost princess, it was mealtime. A rag waits in a nearby bucket; there would not be much of a chance to clean her hands and face otherwise.

"Hey Mystia!" calls Utsuho, as she lands nearby and folds her wings.

For a moment, Mystia considers shooing the hell crow away, guests are more of an inconvenience and an embarrassment at this time of day than anything else. But looking at Utsuho, Mystia quickly sees that she is breathing hard, and sweating heavily. "...Did something happen?"

Utsuho nods, and takes a deep, steadying breath. "Yeah, I just got back from checking on Thea..."

Mystia listen as Utsuho tells the story, then swears floridly. "Okay, one of us needs to go check her house, and see if her family knows anything. And, the other needs to go tell the Red White. We'll meet back here."

"Not it!" says Utsuho.

Mystia crosses her arms. "I pay you. You are very much it."

"I quit." says Utsuho, crossing her arms too.

With the hell crow's superior height, Mystia can't help but feel she isn't half as intimidating; even if Utsuho's third leg makes the gesture look a bit silly. She frowns. "Coinflip?"

Utsuho nods, then says "Tails," as Mystia pulls out a coin and flips it into the air. She catches it, and places it on the back of her other hand.

"Oh for fuck's sake!"

****

Peeking through the torii, Mystia sees Reimu reclining against the steps of the shrine, arms spread out and a cup of something by her side. Mystia takes a long, steadying breath, and begins to walk down the cobblestone path. She tries to ignore the dread in her heart, the gnawing instinct that tells her to run away as fast as she can and hide in a tree until this all blows over. But there is no tree tall enough, no tree remote enough to escape. Mystia soldiers on.

"Miss Hakurei?" she asks, as she draws close to the shrine without any reaction from Reimu.

Reimu shifts her head a little, and shakes her index and middle fingers on her left hand a couple times. Looking toward this gesture, Mystia notices the donation box nearby. Mystia stifles a sigh, and walks over to the box, dropping in a few loose coins.

"What can I do for you, Mystia?" Reimu asks, sitting up and folding her arms on her knees.

"It's Thea," says Mystia. "She's gone missing. I've been having Utsuho check up on her daily, and she's gone..." She tenses herself.

"You oughta do something about that, then," says Reimu with a frown. Then she has a drink of her beverage.

Mystia waits for her to continue. After a few moments, it becomes clear that Reimu has nothing more to say. "Um..."

"Um, what?" says Reimu. "You're the one who put the mark on that woman's head, and I trust you to be able to solve the problems with it, just like you said. If she isn't home in good time, though, I'll have to investigate it myself. And you know how thoroughly I like to investigate things. Because I solve problems, Mystia. I solve 'em good and hard. Remember when your girlfriend tried to steal spring? She's not tried that since. Solved."

"She's not my-" says Mystia, before cutting herself off. That was beside the point, and this is not the time to be beside the point. "I've got Utsuho talking to her family right now. I'm hoping we're just overreacting, but if not, it should give us some leads. Just relax, I'll take care of it."

"That you will, Mystia. That you will. They're gonna call you six hour Mystia."

****

"Okuu, you back yet?" asks Mystia, as she reaches her front yard and looks around.

"No," comes an all-too-familiar voice from behind, as arms wrap around Mystia's waist.

"Yuyuko, now is not the time," Mystia says. "Thea's gone missing!"

"I know," Yuyuko says, "I heard some of Utsuho's story. She won't be back for a bit, by the by. She took some time to rest before leaving."

Mystia frowns. "Then...why did you stay hidden? You could have helped us!"

"My polyphenol,," says Yuyuko, "I don't know where she is any more than you do. It's very gratifying you think so highly me, but my understanding isn't so almighty as that. But, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you that she hasn't come to me yet."

Mystia pauses. When did Yuyuko become so forthright? She then says, "Then I really can't hang around here! I wish I could, I do, but if she's still alive, then I definitely have to find her!"

"You need to wait for your partner to get back, first," says the ghost princess, "So, don't you think we should make the most of the meantime?"

"She's not going to take that long, you know..." says Mystia. It was tempting at this point. Just setting all the worries aside and taking some time for herself...

"Nor will I," says Yuyuko, as she slips a hand under Mystia's skirt.

"Wait, wait! What are you-Oh...wooow. W-what did you do?"

"Just a trick," says Yuyuko. "I'll teach you all about it, my betacaratin."

****

"Sorry I took so long" says Utsuho, as she lands in front of the Mystia's porch; Mystia sitting on the front steps. "I kinda got lost on the way and overshot their house. ...Wow, are you okay?"

"Splendid," Mystia sighs.

"Oh. Well, you buttoned up your dress wrong," says Utsuho.

"Crap!" Mystia stands, turns her back to the hell crow, and starts correcting her buttons. "Did you find anything?"

"Thea wasn't home. I asked about her, and it turns out she went to Mount Nagai today."

Mystia frowns, trying and failing to recall the name while fumbling with the third button. "Is that bad?"

"It's not supposed to be," says Utsuho. "They said it was a real nice mountain, gentle slopes and all that. Apparently a lot of good stuff grows on it. Maybe she had a bad run-in with a deer?"

Mystia frowns. "I don't think you can have a bad run-in with a deer. At least not the kind you're implying."

"Have you seen the antlers those things get?" Utsuho says, gesturing with an open hand. "They could mess up anything they run across! Mark my words, they'll take up meat eating real soon with that kind of weaponry."

Mystia decides its best to let this drop. There's worse misapprehensions than being excessively cautious around deer. "For now, we'll assume it wasn't an animal. Yuyuko told me she's still alive. You did learn how to get to that mountain, right?"

"Sure did," says Utusho. "It's not too far off from Youkai Mountain. It's one of those little ones nobody but people like Thea bothers with. Supposed to have a split peak, C'mon, let's go!.

****

The trip to the mountain is a fairly quick one from the air. As per Utsuho's word, it is only a mile or so from Youkai Mountain. Its peak is cleft in two, leaving Mystia to wonder about it what happened to it. Perhaps it was something the oni did back when they ran this region? She regards the mountain from above, trying to figure out where to look. It isn't a very large mountain, nor does it look all that perilous, but there is still an awful lot of territory on it. She frowns at all the green on it, thinking about how much it would hide any tracks...wait a minute, tracks!

"Hey Okuu, you said that she comes to this mountain pretty often, right?"

"Often enough," says Utsuho.

"Maybe there's some trails she follows, then?"

Utsuho smiles. "Oh hey, that's a good point! I keep forgetting that plant stuff does that when you walk on it a lot."

"Don't you have moss and stuff underground?"

"Not if you keep a good home."

"Oh." Mystia shrugs, "Well, let's have a look. We'll have a sweep by the base of the mountain."

The two swoop down, and fly over the mountain, just low enough to avoid the trees. The first pass reveals nothing, nor does the second. Mystia slows down for the third one, letting Utsuho zoom ahead, and spots a thin dirt trail that weaves around the brush. She lands near a large brush where the path seems widest. Looking around, she can see a few plants that have been snapped off. Then she notices a lot of the grass has been torn as well, and indulges in some profanity, something was grazing here. Still, that sign flustered, she heads for the path and starts to follow along side of it, looking for some sort of footprint. The path is hard and windswept, not cooperating at all with Mystia's hopes. 

After a few minutes, Utsuho lands nearby and joins her. "Any luck?" she asks.

"Not yet," says Mystia. "The dirt's too hard."

"Nuts," says Utsuho, as she falls into step on the other side of the path.

The two continue to walk on. Mystia tries to hold onto hope, but the hard compacted earth refuses to give anything to her. What uses this path so much? Maybe Thea really did have a bad run-in with some deer? Wouldn't that be ironic? All this heartache and worry, just to have be be done in by a rampaging herbivore...

"Here we go!" says Utsuho, breaking the reverie as they enter a light copse of trees. "It's getting a little better over here."

Mystia looks ahead, and sees that the soil here is a little more loose. Perhaps it is why trees thrive here? Buoyed, she starts to look around, staring hard at the dirt. "See any of her footprints, Okuu?" asks Mystia.

"No," says Utsuho, "But I do see something else, get a load of these." She gestures toward her side of the path. Mystia walks over to where she indicated and kneels down on the grass to have a closer look. There, impressed in the soil, are two rectangles, about a hand's width from each other and about as thick as her thumb.

"What are these?" she asks.

"Geta," says Utsuho.

"So there were Tengu here?"

"No, they like Geta with one slat on them. This one has two. And I am pretty sure, looking at these, that I know where we're going next."


	9. Chapter 9

Mystia had never been in a cave before; the Forest of Magic isn't know for its selection of underground entrances. She marvels at the stalactite-covered ceiling. The walls with their strange patterns and striations leave her wondering what could have formed them. While at first one would think such a place would be barren and lifeless without any sunlight, there are a variety of mosses and mushrooms that seem to thrive in little corners and crannies and a number of insects. Hanging from the stalactites from time to time are colonies of bats. It leaves her wondering if bat is a common dish down here.  
  
Then there are the noises. Everything seems to echo down here. She can hear dripping water from...somewhere. Mystia has been watching for it for awhile, but the water never seems to show up. But aside from the echoes, it is deathly quiet save for their footsteps. Utsuho, when she speaks, takes on an entirely different tone of voice, a lower and softer one than normal. It makes her sound uncharacteristically meek, but it serves to keep her voice from carrying too far. Mystia tries to mimic it.  
  
"Hold it," says Utsuho, putting her third leg in Mystia's path.  
  
"What's wrong?" Mystia asks, trying to keep her cave voice audible enough not to be mistaken for a whisper.  
  
"Look up."  
  
Mystia looks upward, and frowns. "Why is there a bucket up there?"  
  
"Dagnabbit!" says the bucket lingering among the stalactites.  
  
Utsuho looks towards it and waves. "Hey! Want something to eat?"  
  
"Might do," says the bucket, as a small green-haired youkai peeks over the edge. "What's in it for you?"  
  
"I just wanna know who passed through today," says Utsuho. "That fair?"  
  
"No suns," says the bucket youkai.  
  
"Oh for the love of..." Utsuho shakes her head, her face contorting into a scowl. "That was once! Once! And I got over it! Bloody hell, you people hold a grudge over something that never actually got to the point of doing anything! Fine! No suns. Happy?"  
  
"Yeah, alright," says the bucket youkai, as she lowers down to the ground. "Whacha got?" Mystia produces a fried eel sandwich from her pocket, one of several she brought along just in case on Utsuho's insistence. "That'll do. Okay, so I saw you earlier, Sunny." she gives a glance toward Utsuho. "Then there was Yuugi coming and going. Some ghosts came in, just missed 'em myself, and went on down. I'm thinkin' they're looking for festival work, what with the instruments they got. S'bout it."  
  
"You mean we just missed them?" Mystia asks.  
  
"Mean I durned near clobbered the blonde one," the bucket youkai says. "Now let's have a look at that grub, eh?"  
  
Mystia hands her the sandwich. The bucket youkai takes it and gives it a single sniff, then bites into it. "Oh, this is grand," she says through mouthfuls of sandwich. "Reminds me of this one place I went to in Topeka, back when I was riding with Big Annie Biggs. Place would sell you a gallon of beer for a half-done nickel, I'll tell for free!"  
  
"We really gotta get going," says Utsuho. "Did Yuugi have someone with her when she came back in?"  
  
"Yeah, some human," says the bucket youkai, as she starts to float back up to the ceiling. "And fine, be like that. But thanks for the eats, kids!"  
  
"Let's go," Utsuho says.  
  
****  
  
Mystia slows down as she and Utsuho begin to cross a long wooden bridge. The cavern widens, its ceiling sloping upwards into the gloom. Echoes of running water come from under the bridge, Mystia looks down and can just barely see the swift-flowing currents in the shadows, yards below. Up ahead, a formidable gateway, though the doors stand open. Faint music can be heard ahead, without echoes. The cavern must be too large for them.  
  
"Be ready with the sandwiches," Utsuho says quietly, "And follow my lead. No backtalk. In fact, don't say anything if I don't talk to you."  
  
"Right," says Mystia, as she hastens to keep up with the hell crow. After meeting the bucket youkai, it didn't seem as necessary to ask why.  
  
As the cross the bridge, Mystia sees someone standing at the far end of it. This must be the bridge youkai that some of her customers have mentioned in the past. Now Utsuho's orders didn't seem so strange  
  
"Hey, Parsee," Utsuho says, waving her free hand, "How're things?"  
  
"Eh," replies the bridge youkai, arms crossed. "Could be worse. Who the hell is this?"  
  
"She's with me," says Utsuho. "This is Mystia, she's my boss." Mystia nods to Parsee. Surely that didn't count as saying anything.  
  
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" says Parsee, giving Mystia a look.  
  
"Naw, she's, like. super taken," says Utsuho. "You don't even know." Mystia clenches her teeth; don't speak unless spoken to...  
  
"Aren't you just so proud of that?" says Parsee, tapping a finger against her crossed arm.  
  
"Anyways, we got a little something for you," Utsuho continues. "You ever have a grilled eel sandwich? Either way, enjoy it!" Mystia takes her cue, produces a sandwich from pocket and hands it to Parsee.  
  
"Huh, thanks," says Parsee, as she regards the sandwich curiously. "I bet you gave one to Kisume, too. She's so easy to bribe with food.  
  
"Yeah, but we didn't give her two," says Utsuho. Mystia produces another sandwich and hands it over. "And that's our last one, til Mysty gets another shipment of eel, anyways." Mystia tries not to react at the lie, there's two more in the other pocket.  
  
"That's nice of you," she says. "Thanks." She takes a bite of one of the sandwiches and adds, "This is pretty good, actually."  
  
"Hell yeah," says Utsuho, as she walks past the Bridge Youkai. "Catch you later!"  
  
"You too!" says Parsee, as Mystia hastens to catch up with the hell crow.  
  
The walk through the gates, and into the the city itself. Mystia glances back to make certain Parsee isn't following them, then says, "We should have asked her about Yuugi and Thea."  
  
"No, that's exactly what we didn't want," says Utsuho. "She's been banging Yuugi since...god knows when. Last thing we need is to give her a reason to tip off the enemy and back her up. That's why I wanted her in a good mood, with all the sandwiches and stuff."  
  
"Oh...Good work."  
  
****  
  
Festive music dominates the air. Even with nerves at high alert, it's hard for Mystia to resist the urge to add a little dance to her step here and again. She contents herself with humming along when the streets are clear. This is an all-too-rare occurrence; there are oni everywhere down here: drinking, laughing, laboring, milling about. Mystia keeps close to Utsuho when they're around; the oni seem all too happy to let the hell crow have her space. Having to deal with any one oni would be too much.  
  
Even with brutes like the oni about, the Ancient City doesn't seem like a bad place. One one hand, there's a drunken brawl every so often, or an oni passed-out in an alley, if not her own vomit. But really, that happens topside as well. And the oni, as a whole, do seem to be getting along. The houses and buildings, one-story things with sloping tiled roofs, are in fairly good condition save for the occasional fist-sized hole. Perhaps it isn't such a bad place, as long as one was friendly...  
  
"So, what's the plan?" Mystia asks.  
  
"See that big house up there? Not the old stone one at the edge of the city, the other one near the middle, with the two floors. That's Yuugi's place. We're gonna hit it up."  
  
Mystia nods. That did not sound pleasant in the least, but what options were there? "Um, how?"  
  
"Well, I can think of two basic ways," says Utsuho. "The first was is that we split up. You go find Thea while I find Yuugi and punch her until she gives it a rest."  
  
"I think I like that plan."  
  
"The downside being that you might run into Yuugi first..."  
  
"Good point, I don't like this plan at all."  
  
Utsuho nods. "The other plan is we stick together. If we run into Yuugi, well, you run for it and I hold her off. But if she decides to be sneaky and go after you first..."  
  
Mystia frowns. "I don't like any of these plans..."  
  
"Yeah, there's kinda a bad side to all of them," says Utsuho with a nod. "But don't worry. You've hired the best money can buy. I'm just kinda worried about burning the place down. Anyways, what do you think? Just waltz through the front door, or knock out a window or something? Maybe blast a hole in the wall?"  
  
"Um," Mystia ponders for a moment. While the more dramatic entrances would have their advantages, the price tag associated with keep Yuugi from pursuing vengeance, compared to her own financial situation, loom too strongly in her mind. "Front door. Definitely front door."  
  
"Okay, we'll just kick it down an-"  
  
"No!"  
  
"...Okay, we'll just walk right in and start messing things up-."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Hey, who's making the plan here?"  
  
"Look, I just don't want to end up having to pay for everything to get Yuugi off my back after this is done."  
  
"Oh." Utsuho shrugs, then brightens. "Well, I can beat her up til she stops!"  
  
Shaking her head, Mystia says, "Unless you intend to hang around all the time, I'm not terribly reassured..."  
  
"Okay, fine!" Utsuho throws her hand and her third leg into the air. "I'll keep the damage to a minimum! Geez mom..."  
  
Mystia sighs. "Let's just break into the house, okay?"  
  
"Hell yeah!"  
  
****  
  
The route to Yuugi's home isn't a particularly hard one; the Ancient City has a fairly predictable grid-like layout. But as they draw closer, the crowds become more dense and more raucous. Mystia draws closer to to her companion, resisting the urge to cling onto her cape to keep from getting separated. "Is there a festival around Yuugi's house?" she asks.  
  
"Naw, just that the oni know where the party's at," says Utsuho. "You get about five or six of them together in one place, and they'll find the nearest party or wedding or whatever easier than a bat finds silverfish. And Yuugi likes having something close to home."  
  
Mystia feels a surge of hope, and takes steps to curb it. "Does that mean maybe she won't be home?"  
  
"Oh, she'll be home alright," says Utsuho. "She's kidnapped a new human, that'll keep her occupied for awhile at least. That's why we're going there rather than asking around and saying she won an all-you-can-eat dinner."  
  
Her prior hopes dashed, she cautiously allows for a new one. "...Do you think she'd let Thea go for that?"  
  
"Naw. She'd just hit you until you gave it away from free anyways, if you tried that kind of thing."  
  
"Rats," says Mystia with a sigh, "...Wait a minute, just what is she doing to Thea, anyways, if she's not going to be leaving the house for awhile?! Thea's married, you know!"  
  
"Well," Utsuho scratches her chin. "I imagine Thea's got enough sake in her blood right now that you could start a fire with it. Aside from that, probably talking it up, having a big time, armwrestling... it always comes down to feats of strength with oni. That's where the trouble starts for the people they kidnap..."  
  
"Weird. Why do they even do it, anyways?"  
  
Utsuho gives an impressive shrug, bringing her wings into the motion. There's little Mystia finds she can argue with in that. Drawing closer to the house, Mystia can see it is quite well appointed, painted bright yet tasteful colors and sloping roofs that extend out a couple yards from the walls. A wooden walkway runs around it. Two large doors, presently closed, bear a pictures of muscular oni lifting and throwing mountains. Trees poke out over the edge of the roof, hinting at a courtyard within, while lanterns hang from every rafter outdoors.  
  
Mystia pauses, considering how to open the doors. Surely they had to be heavily secured. Utsuho walks up to them and turns the knob with her free hand. Raising an eyebrow, Mystia says, "How'd you do that?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Get around the locks and stuff?"  
  
"What locks? This is a city full of oni. Who's going to steal something? And what kind of lock is going to stop an oni?"  
  
"Oh..." Mystia grimaces, feeling a bit dumb. "Let's go in?"  
  
They walk to the front door. Mystia pauses at the threshold. In there is an one of the four devas, someone who the tengu and the kappa used to fear. Someone whose house they're about to break it into... Someone who is going to be very, very mad when she discovers them. Mystia takes a deep breath, trying to force her suddenly leaden feet forward. It's hard, knowing that certain pain waits within there...  
  
Utsuho pokes her head out the door. "Hey, you coming or what?"  
  
Mystia nods. "Just....give me a minute to get psyched up, okay?"  
  
"Oh it ain't that bad, " says Utsuho.  
  
"Maybe not for you, bu-WAH!" says Mystia, before Utsuho grabs her by the sleeve and tugs her inside.  
  
"See?" Utsuho days, grinning. "Just another step. Don't worry, you got me with you. Now let's go nuke the shit out Yuugi."  
  
"O-okay," says Mystia, taking another deep breath and trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She trails behind Utsuho, looking around; her eyes darting from place to place and never resting on any one thing. The front hall is lined with red-painted pillars, while dozens of lanterns hang from the rafters. Various things line the walls, but she doesn't pay them much mind. Yuugi could be anywhere, behind any of these pillars...  
  
They reach the other side of the hall without difficulty, passing through a set of open paper doors into a plain corridor, extending left and right. Mystia sighs in relief. If there wasn't anything in the front hall, maybe Yuugi really isn't expecting to be followed...  
  
"Hey, what the fuck are you doing in my house?" comes a voice to the left. Mystia cries out, and looks down the hall to see a tall muscular woman with blonde hair, a single horn, and manacles around her wrists. She looks at them with confusion written clearly across her face.  
  
"Yuugi, it's go time!" Utsuho shouts, breaking into a run directly at the blonde woman.  
  
"Oh, you broke into the wrong house, hell crow!" Yuugi shouts, her confused look giving way to a toothy grin as she takes a wide stance. Danmaku light fills the air as at two begin to weave intricate patterns. Mystia watches for a moment, transfixed, as huge orbs of fiery light start to swirl around Utsuho's third leg, while dozens of tiny bullets begin to appear around Yuugi. Then she runs down the hall, away from them, shrieking at the top of her lungs.  
  
****  
  
Mystia stops to lean against the wall and catch her breath. Looking around, she slowly realize she has no idea where she is. First there was the hall, then the left turn...then the stairs... Or was it stairs and then a left? No, the left came first...or was it a right? Maybe there were two lefts? Heaving a sigh, Mystia acknowledges that she is just lost. Explosions and crashes can be heard in the distance, seeming to come everywhere from once. Maybe they are? Given the sources, it's certainly possible.  
  
Getting her breath back, Mystia considers a nearby door. If Yuugi is distracted, then it should be alright to go looking for Thea. In fact, maybe even sneak her out before the two are done! Feeling a bit better, she walks toward the door and slides it open, saying "Thea?" as she peaks inside.  
  
"Who?" asks a white-haired woman in a uniform at the window, her foot precariously balanced on a dresser. Two others; a blonde woman and a brown-haired woman in similarly designed outfits, look back from helping their white-haired companion through the window. Musical instruments float around the trio. Mystia stares, trying to process what she's seeing.  
  
Silence reigns for a brief moment as they stare at each other. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Mystia gasps at length. "Merlin! What are you doing in that window!? Get down from there at once!"  
  
"We're hungry?" says Merlin. Lyrica facepalms.  
  
"Um, I think the jig is up," Lunasa says.  
  
"Get her!" Lyrica shouts, pulling out a spellcard from her pocket.  
  
Mystia considers the situation carefully, as carefully as she can within a second. There are three of them, and one of her. They are renowned for an almost unprecedented level of teamwork in their danmaku. They are clearly here to get Thea, as Merlin said. And they clearly know that she has every interest in protecting Thea. Processing all this in the space of a second, Mystia does what she feels is most logical. She shrieks, a long and clear sound that has gotten a lot of practice of late, and throws her arms over her face.  
  
"Ah, my goddamn eyes!" says Lyrica, then starts shrieking as violin music starts to play.  
  
"Fu-!" Merlin cries, before the violin music and a heavy thud cuts her off.  
  
"Did I get her?" Lunasa asks, "It got dark..."  
  
Mystia stops screaming as her lungs empty. Finding herself still in one piece, she peeks around her arms. Merlin lays face-down on the floor, arms and legs in strange positions. Lyrica lays face up, groaning and staying at the ceiling with glassy eyes, her uniform bearing several danmaku burns. Lunasa shakes her head, violin cradled at her neck, and frowns at the scene. "Um, oops..." she says. "Sorry?"  
  
"No, its fine," says Mystia, gathering her breath again.  
  
"Oh well," says Lunasa, as she puts the bow to her instrument's strings. "Now, where were we?"  
  
Mystia ducks around the door frame, a moment before a G Sharp and a wave of orange danmaku erupts through it. She takes a few more steps back. If it's just Lunasa alone, then maybe it won't be so bad. She reaches into her pocket. Just need the right spellcard, and then...wait, where are the spellcards? They couldn't have fallen out...unless...  
  
"Damn it, Yuyuko!" Mystia cries as she turns and runs down the hallway.  
  
"No, I'm Lunasa!" says the blonde Prismriver, as she steps through the door and plays a few more notes on her violin.  
  
Mystia doesn't bother to look back, it would only slow her down. She folds her wings back to keep them from causing drag and leans forward, running with all her might. She doesn't try to scream, she'll needs her breath and there's no way to hold a decent note while running. Violin music and the slight crackle of oncoming danmaku barely overpower her sound of her footsteps. There's a door ahead, on the left side of the hall. Mystia runs for it with all her might, doing her best not to flinch or cry out as a few bullet whiz past her head.  
  
"Stop running," Lunasa shouts, as the music ends for a moment. "That's just lame!"  
  
"Don't care!" Mystia cries back as she ducks through the door.  
  
The room is fairly empty, with a folding screen off to the side, a dresser again the wall, and a futon on the floor. No other doors. A guest room, and nothing to hide behind but the screen. She suspects that would buy, at best, a couple seconds. Still, better than nothing. She scampers behind it, and takes stock of her situation. No spellcards, no weapons, no place to run, no place to hide. She rifles through her pockets, trying to find anything that would be of use. Her fingers close around two soft items...  
  
"...I can't believe you're hiding behind that screen," comes Lunasa's voice from the door. "I can even see your wing tip, geez!"  
  
Mystia takes a deep breath, then kicks the screen down. With a swift motion, she throws her two remaining fried eel sandwiches They soar gracefully through the air, separating into their component parts. Fried eel, covered with a special blend of sauces, connects with Lunasa's face. Mystia wastes no time, conjuring a green spiral of danmaku around her. It lingers for a moment, too long to normally be useful in such a close quarters fight, while Lunasa cries out and cleans her eyes, then flies directly at her. A wave of three shots slams into the violinist, sending her staggering back into the hall, before another wave sends her to the ground. Mystia waits for a moment, ready to follow up with another attack, but Lunasa doesn't get up. Her violin hovers over her like a concerned pet.  
  
Mystia allows herself a smile, heaving a vast sigh of relief. That could have been her, if Lunasa were just a little luckier. She steps out into the hall again. Now onto the next room.  
  
The opposite wall explodes outward. Mystia screams, throwing her arms over her face as wooden shrapnel sprays everywhere. Something spams into the wall beside her. Mystia lowers her arms, now sore and likely bleeding, and looks down at her feet to see Utsuho on the floor, burned and bleeding, and most definitely unconscious.  
  
"I told her about that third step," comes a voice ahead. Utsuho looks up in time to see Yuugi step through the newly made hole in wall, massaging her knuckles. Then she looks toward Mystia and grins. "Oh hey! You're here, how convenient! Saves me having to hunt you down."  
  
"Um...can I get a time out?" asks Mystia, as she takes a step back and stumbles over Lunasa. "I just got done with a fight, and-"  
  
"Hey, me too!" says Yuugi, "Sorry, no time outs!"  
  
The oni rushes toward Mystia, laughing happily. Mystia screams, cringes back, and feels something brush against her wing. Time seems to slow as Yuugi draws her fist back. As though moving through molasses, Mystia takes another step back as she watches Yuugi's comes closer and closer. She reaches over, grabbing the floating violin with both hands, and swings. Slowly, achingly, Mystia watches as Yuugi's eyes gravitate toward the flying instrument. Then her face seems to contort as the violin connects with her face and gradually buckles in on itself. Yuugi staggers, her momentum ruined. Mystia tries to get out of the way, but her movements are too slow. The big oni, eyes rolling up into her head, slams into her, sending her tumbling to the ground.  
  
Mystia lands hard on the floor. Time seems to flow like it should again. She lays there, staring at the ceiling. No one's moving. Slowly, she begins to pick herself up. Yuugi lays face first on the floor, her horn jammed through a wall. Standing on shaky legs, Mystia stares at her. Then, as quickly as she can, she runs away.  
  
****  
  
"Hey~," comes a voice Mystia wanders into a large kitchen. "Whensh sha party gonna keepsh rollin'?" There, sort of sitting at a large dining table, is Thea. Her hair is a mess, her clothes disheveled, and her head swaying and bobbing as though there were music only she could here. In her hand is a small porcelain bottle.  
  
"Oh thank heaven!" Mystia exclaims. "Thea, I'm so glad you're alright! Really really glad! You have no idea!"  
  
"Ish Misshia!" says Thea, grinning. She waves the bottle in Mystia's direction. "Come and have shum of thish shuff!"  
  
"Um, maybe later! I have to get you home right now."  
  
"Wha' for?" says Thea leaning forward. "'Sha grand ole playsh here!"  
  
Mystia ponders for a moment, considering the many tricks she's had to pick up over the years to deal with someone who's blind stinking drunk. "Um, it's time for dinner!"  
  
"Oh crap!" says Thea, leaping to her feet and promptly falling over. Mystia sighs, and goes to help the woman up. Being smaller and lighter, this is no mean feat. Nor is it any easier to help Thea across the kitchen toward the door when she shifts most of her weight onto Mystia's shoulder. The trip down the corridor to the entry hall is no easier. Mystia silently thanks the heavens again that Yuugi had the decency to put Thea on the first floor. Stairs would be more than enough to kill the poor woman.  
  
They struggle through the pillared entry hall. Mystia keeps her eyes on the double doors ahead. Once they get out, it's just a quick walk through the city, then across the bridge, out the tunnel...  
  
"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" comes a voice from behind.  
  
Mystia freezes in place. Thea does not, continuing forward and collapsing onto the floor. "Fuckin' floor," she mumbles. "Learn t' wait yer turn..."  
  
Paying little attention to Thea, Mystia slowly turns toward the door leading further into the manor, and sees Yuugi standing there. A large purple bruise shines across the side of her face. "That was a pretty good trick!" Yuugi says. "Didn't even notice that violin til you grabbed it! I'm not gonna lie, that was hella slick. You're alright, kid."  
  
"So, since you respect me, you're going to let me take Thea home so Reimu doesn't skin me alive?" Mystia asks.  
  
"Oh hell no," says Yuugi, as she produces a spellcard, "We'll just have to do round two by the book, but don't worry-" her eyebrow raises. "-what hell is up with the butterfli-?" The rest of her statement is cut off as colorful glowing butterflies soar from behind Mystia with a slight tingling sound and slam into her. She crumples to the ground in an unceremonious heap. Mystia just stares, mouth gaping.  
  
Yuyuko strides past her from behind, seeming to float on air, and looks at the fallen on. "Well," she says. "I suppose that will teach you a lesson about messing with my songbird!"  
  
"Yuyuko!" Mystia cries, running toward the ghost princess and enfolding her in a hug. "Oh thank the gods!" She buries her face in Yuyuko's back, tears burning her eyes as her legs give out. "I didn't know what I was going to do! You saved me! Thank you so, so much! I...I..."  
  
"I do so hate when dinner is delayed," says Yuyuko, placing her hands over Mystia's. "One gets so very cranky, don't you agree. Now, perhaps it you would be so kind, we can get on with our meal, hm?"  
  
"B-but..." Mystia says, "Here!?"  
  
"I'm sure Yuugi wouldn't mind if we borrowed a guest room."  
  
"But...there's Thea to consider!"  
  
"I don't think she'll be able to follow us like that, don't you agree?"  
  
"...But, the Red White will rip off my wings and beat me with them if we don't get Thea home!"  
  
"Well... I suppose that would be an issue, but surely she won't-"  
  
"I'll make it worth your while!" Mystia cries, desperation creeping into her voice.  
  
"Deal!"  
  
****  
  
Inconvenient cravings aside, Mystia cannot thank the heavens enough for Yuyuko's presence. Taller and stronger, the ghost princess has a much easier time managing Thea. Between the two of them, it isn't too hard to guide the thoroughly drunken woman back home. Thankfully, the oni seem to respect Yuyuko as much as they do Utsuho; Mystia wonders just what Yuyuko did on the way there. As well, Yuyuko is all too happy to answer Thea's drunken babbling with her own brand of nonsense and misdirection. Mystia tries to follow, but quickly becomes lost.  
  
Soon enough, they leave the Underground behind, and make way toward Thea's home. The worst of the trip behind them, they are able to make quick progress toward the farm, and soon reunite the kidnapped woman with her family. The family invites then to stay for dinner, an offer Mystia considers for a moment before Yuyuko cheerfully declines, saying that they have their own plans. But perhaps tomorrow. Mystia leaves it at that, there is a promise to keep. They depart with smiles and waves, leaving Mystia with a curious glowing feeling. Is this what Reimu or Marisa feel after a job well done?  
  
She lets Yuyuko take the lead on the flight home. As they land in the front yard, she pounces on the ghost princess from behind. Giggling as Yuyuko cries out, Mystia then stands on her tiptoes to chew on the ghost princess' ear. "O-oh my!" Yuyuko says, shuddering in Mystia's arms, "Such ferocity! Has the hunter become the hunted? Unthinkable, simply unthinkable!"  
  
"Such is the way of nature, my little princess," Mystia replies, ceasing her ministrations for a moment. "Turnabout is fair play." Grinning despite herself, she slides a hand into the ghost princess' robes. No wonder Yuyuko did this so much!  
  
There is a loud thump, as something falls from the trees and lands in front of the two. Reimu stands, brushing herself off. "I really, really hope you found Thea if you've got time for that kind of thing. Because I do not have time for you to be doing that kind of thing when I'm trying to do my job..."


End file.
